I have had one of those days where I just want to cry. Of course, having a very high blood sugar that I am having trouble lowering might be contributing to my feelings. I spent the day dealing with people (okay, not "people"..but one person) who likes to imply that we are not "looking out for the best interests of our new little girl" because we are interested in moving her in here in May before school gets out. We want to have time with her before all the kids are home from school. We really do believe that it's in her best interests to have time to bond with us without all the children home for the summer. And we believe that we can be ready in a months time to assume her cares and to help her to be familiar with us.
Other(s) seem to think that we are not capable of making a decision that is in her best interest.
What bothers me the most is that any of the nurses who currently work with her could certainly have chosen to adopt her...but I didn't see them lining up to adopt this child with very serious and lifelong medical issues.
Adoption for any child involves loss and grief. It is traumatic for anyone to have to move when they are attached and to a loving foster family. We as adoptive families do not cause the trauma. We are not the bad guys here..there are no bad guys, there is just a mix of loss and grief and joy and hope for the future. We love Maisy and we know that there are many others who love her and are concerned for her well being. I am thankful for that. I just wish they would give us the freedom to begin assuming the role of parents for a little girl that will be with us forever.
We sure don't want to see Maisy have a difficult transition. But there are somethings that just can't be avoided. She is our baby, and many of the tears I have are because I am hurting for her. But, I also know that she will be okay. Permanancy is worth it. Having a forever family is worth the pain.
We have great respect for the foster parents who have taken incredible care of Maisy. I wish we had met them earlier--I think we have a lot in common. I know how protective they are feeling toward Maisy and how genuinely they are going to miss her. We are praying for them as they say goodbye. Little do they know, we are not planning on going anywhere--we are going to love to have a long term relationship with them as we raise Maisy. They hold a piece of her life that we will never fully experience. They mean the world to us.
People who have never adopted say things like "oh..you did it the easy way" when speaking of adoption versus giving birth. All of us who have adopted know the labor pain that we go through is very real and very difficult. I just wish they had an epidural for this pain!
It is time for me to focus back on why we are doing what we do. We believe that God is calling us to this and we will not waiver from our calling.
Thanks for listening to my rant...I feel much better now..