The adoption process has such emotional ups and downs...no matter how many times you go through the process. As we wait to add our 10th child, we have truly been riding this rollercoaster with out getting much time to recover from the rapid and death defying drops...
We have a new agency (Downeyside St. Cloud) and the social workers who are assisting us in this process are such great advocates for kids who are hard to place. Mike and Pat have raised seven kids themselves and we are thrilled to be able to work with them as we seek the child God wants to add to our family.
The adoption process reveals parts of ourselves that might be obvious to others who observe us...but as we are in the midst of the searching process, I am keenly aware of how impatient I can be. I feel confident that God is calling us to adopt again and I just want him to bring us that child...NOW. We have had a room waiting for this child...in our home and in our hearts. When I feel that sense of impatience, I am reminded to pray for the thousands of children who have been waiting far too long to find their forever family..and feel helpless to do anything about it...
The adoption process of a waiting child also causes each of us to face what we really are open to when it comes to special needs. We have made it clear to our social workers that we are not interested in adopting a child who has families waiting in line to adopt them. Our heart is with African American children who are disabled. We have a passion for the kids who are unable to walk or talk. Kids who have special medical needs, g tubes, oxygen....we desire to open our hearts to a child that needs us. But then there are the exceptions to that...yesterday, we received a call about the cutest little Caucasian girl with developmental issues...aggressive, autistic like behaviors, very difficult to place. We said no. And then we are left with such a sick feeling. Looking at her picture, we saw a really beautiful little girl who really needs a home. But, she didn't look like our little girl. It didn't feel right. We just knew that she was not ours.
And after we say no, we are left to a mix of thoughts and emotions regarding who God is leading to us and who He is not. I don't believe that we should adopt any child we see. In prayer, we must feel mutually led to adopt a particular child. I have often said that the kids picked us...we have rarely ever questioned if God was telling us to move ahead with an adoption...He has made the choices very clear to us...as if they were not even choices. We are always aware that we have to protect the children already in our home and we know that we must always keep that in mind as we make decisions. God has been so faithful in leading us...but it is so hard to say no when you know that a child may not get a permanent home. Thus the rollercoaster experience...and did I mention that I don't like rollercoasters?
S0, please pray for us as we wait. Pray for workers who often make quick judgments about the size of our family and our ability to parent another medically fragile child. We find that once social workers come to our home or talk with us, they do not question our ability or our intentions. Most importantly, please pray for those precious children whose pictures are not
on some one's refrigerator, who don't yet have their forever home....
